My life currently revolves around laundry. Laundry cycles have become my daily cycles. Gather the garments, load in, don’t forget to hear it beep! Load out, hang (often with a little helper)…. and heaven forbid you forget to bring it in overnight. Sorting is not really my forte (tricky for ADHD-inclined folks), so it all gets lumped in together… and we end up with laundry mountains everywhere. Surely someone can relate?
The thing is though, I’ve realised lately: I love doing laundry. I do find it so satisfying, I love the ritual of it. The smells, the sounds, the routine. And of course, the fresh clothes! Because is there really anything better than hopping into a bed with just-washed bed linen? I think not.
My issue is, I never quite seem to get through it all, and there is always a backlog. Add on top of that adorable children who always want your attention, a lack of sleep and general grumbliness, and no clue where a matching pair of socks are… and this joy becomes a real hassle. The fun gets sucked out of it real quick (and yes I did just call laundry fun).
Today while I was out on the laundry landing with my little one, I tried to just remember to take it slow. I find that I’m so often hurrying through the moments, the days, trying to tick the boxes (and there are a lot to tick), that the little glimmers of magic often slip by. It’s only usually in retrospect that I remember and notice them, the sweetness of it and the fleetingness of this time in my motherhood. Often after the kids have gone to bed and I lie awake, tired but with miles to go before I sleep.
And so, today I paused. In the laundry, after putting on the wash, I just snuggled my little one. She is a little songbird, and with mum hugging her and giving her a snuggle, she just stood still and kept singing, while eliciting the cutest little toddler giggles. What a moment. So much sweetness! From there, she was in a great mood, and everything was a-ok. Instead of me rushing around with her as my fast-moving shadow, staying still for a second just allowed us to recalibrate, breathe and remember that our relationships with our loved ones (especially our little ones) are the main thing. Not the laundry, or the million other errands that will inevitably pile up! Corny but true.
I wrote on here the other day about trying to serialise my posts, kicking off with Mum Monday. Then I realised that I had briefly (maybe once) started a Friday Favourites routine, that really did not end up being a routine of any sort. Well, here we go again. I figure since this is Misc. Bliss, a lot of these musings will come about on any day of the week. But today felt like a nice day to be grateful, and to record that for posterity.
This bump in gratitude that I felt today also came about from the realisation (or call out) that I apparently complain too much. If the shoe fits, I’ll wear it! But it’s not a great thing to hear about yourself, let’s be honest. Of course, the aforementioned sleep deprivation — which is no joke and truly changes one’s personality — is partly to blame for this… but not wholly. Instead, it seems to be more of a habit, perhaps a family system at play, a way of fitting in and connecting with my loved ones. We all have biases, habits, beliefs about the world, and as children we try to meet these subconsciously. This kind of thing always makes me think of what I’m emitting for my kids! Both good and bad. It’s a lot to think about.
So, I complained the other day that my days are a bit monotonous right now, and they are. It’s true. But it’s not a bad thing. And there is a lot of beauty in my days. A lot of privilege, too. I’m in a position many would love to be in, I’m sure; at home with their little kids. This fact hit home to me when, during our almost-daily walks to the shops, a supermarket staffer was saying she has a daughter a similar age to mine who’s in daycare right now. She said it’s hard, and when she sees kids with their mums (like me and mine), it’s even harder. She is so lovely, and I felt bad for her, because as mums there is incredible pressure to be all things at all times to everyone, plus to bring home a paycheck too. It’s just too much.
That moment helped me to shut up (in my head) about my situation. and thank my lucky stars. And also to have more empathy for those around me, including the grandma that bumped my trolley by the avocados and then scowled at me (true story yo)… because who knows what other people are going through.
And so, after we said bye-bye to the donation dogs (the seeing-eye charity piggy banks shaped like ‘woofs’ as my daughter calls them), off we wheeled to the back of the shops. There, we waited in the most perfect autumnal sun of the trolley bay for a good 10 minutes, watching the trucks, cars, and people go by. I was again grateful to stand still, for a minute, and a grandma returning her trolley said hi and disclosed about her daughter’s late-in-life start to motherhood, having kids at 44 and then 46. She also talked about her daughter’s friends’ troubles with IVF (I have a tendency for people to divulge information to me very quickly, as you can see), and said again to enjoy it. These little moments are really all we have, and so I’ll continue on my day, remembering to take deeeep breaths when it all gets a bit fast.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a load of laundry to hang out!