I think it’s wired in our brains to never quite believe we will age. Not really. Not like, grey hair, hunched back, cricked knees kinda ageing. So when all three of these things start to hit whilst you’re still (just) in your 30s, it gets pretty real, pretty quick.
Of course, as women, we are under added pressure to try and maintain our looks/youth/beauty/all of the above. Hence the phenomenon of over-filled, plumped-to-the-gods plastic surgery and fillers readily available of, and readily accessed by, women of all walks of life. And while this kind of thing used to/does make me sad, I am starting to understand it a bit more personally.
Since becoming a parent, especially a parent of two darling girls, I would say my stress has increased significantly. Not because it’s unenjoyable or unpleasant — quite the opposite, in fact. It’s more that the sheer gravity of the situation (keeping two souls alive and engaged and teaching solid life lessons whilst providing nourishing food sources and stimulating literature and and and) is really too much for one person. That really is my thesis, just telling you now: we were not meant to do this alone.
So when we sit in our separate boxes and cook our separate meals and do our separate shopping all at the same places, and my child wants to connect with others but they’re… separate? Well, that’s when it all falls apart. And I think it’s in these trying times of high friction what when my grey streak has really blossomed!
Believe it or not, I did have a hair-dying phase, pretty far back in the day now. As a natural redhead, growing up in 90s Australia this was not really a flex — not yet, at least. Yes, Nicole Kidman did exist, and people would point to her as the beacon of auburn-haired beauty… but it was pretty slim pickings otherwise. And have you tried surviving in the Australian heat (43 degrees, anyone?) with alabaster skin such as mine?! Now you see why I’m obsessed with sunscreen!
Regardless, after frying my hair to the gods as a bottle blonde, then pulling a hard left and going pretty much jet black during my time in Korea, with a little stint of Russian red in between… I decided to just leave it au naturale maybe around 2015. To be honest, I just couldn’t be bothered with the upkeep anymore. If you are, more power to you! For me, I also wanted to take a minute to enjoy my natural hair, as it was, and see the beauty in it (because I didn’t always).
By this point, my brighter red from my childhood had faded even more from the auburn of my teen years, and now occasionally would warrant comments of *gasp*… brunette hair from new acquaintances. What in the what?! I actually found this quite funny, albeit a little hard to believe, as being a redhead has seemingly, subconsciously become a large part of my identity. So it’s weird that I’m still here, but it isn’t.
Moving on from here — the grey streak. I like to think it’s an acute blast of stress popping up on the side of my head temporarily, and will eventually fade and… absorb back in? Is that how this works? (doubt it) However, if this is just wishful thinking… would it be so bad?
While I still like to apply my daily sunscreen in the morning (either this one or this one), and like to think that this has paid off in my subtle war against Father Time, I do feel there is a balance to strike when it comes to ageing. There is something about accepting one’s place in the world, and the beauty of it, that brings a sense of calm to my soul. You don’t have to be 19 forever… thank goodness. And while 19 was fun and crazy and kind of weird, and the 20s were free and seemingly endless… 38 is also pretty cool.