Catching up

So… 3 years later, here we are! I’m back and hopefully for good. The past few years have been a whirlwind, a blur of nappies, feeds, pram walks, reparenting… you name it. I have so much to catch you guys up on, but I thought before I got overwhelmed with all the details, I would just… start.

So here I am, starting! Arguably the hardest part (for me at least) to do, but the most powerful. See, now I’m just rattling off keys like it’s nothing. You may wonder, what took me so long?

Well, I got married and had a baby (not necessarily in that order) and the funny thing about having a baby is how they completely consume you. I’m talking next level, my whole life is dedicated to you consuming that is hard to wrap your head around. In fact, pre-baby, I used to judge mummy types badly. Like I really had it out for them, or maybe I thought they had it out for me. Someone had it out for someone because there was a lot of energy there!

When “mums with prams” as I called them would hog the pavement, I would think, ugh, how selfish, they’re so wrapped up in their own worlds, etc etc. What I realise now is that their proprioception is probably cooked because they haven’t slept enough in 387 days and counting. That they’re gabbing on to their friends at breakneck speed because they’re probably so relieved to be out and talking to an adult female. That they’re so unaware of you because their brain is mummy mush… and that it’s just not personal.

Phew! The life lessons! The full circle moments! Oh boy oh gee has it been a ride.

And I have been dying to talk to you, dear reader. I have thought many times about writing, about wanting to express myself, but at a certain point I just wondered… who even is that anymore? Although some mums don’t, I fell into the trap of basically losing my sense of self for my baby. For better or worse (and there are pros and cons, for sure), I became Molly’s mum — and have had some of the best, craziest, most intense experiences of my life since. We’ll get into those later, lol.

But I also thought recently, she’s at the age now where she needs to see her mum doing things, too, and that my setting of boundaries for myself is ultimately what’s best for her. And so, I’ve come back to my blog.

This post was meant to be about the exciting things that have happened in my life as of late, most notably involving Sri Lanka, a belated wedding ceremony and a second pregnancy. Surprise! I’ll have to fill you in on all the details, and I promise I will, but I just wanted to get going before I got it perfect. Even just typing these (pretty fluffy and perhaps incoherent) words just feels like sweet, sweet relief. Honestly, I’ve missed this.

This is it for now, but rest assured I’ll be back soon. I need this outlet more than you think! Even if just to remind myself I’m still here (dramatic lol but still feels true).

Until next time!

Steph x